Today is the day!

As I sit here in the USA, sipping my coffee that somehow tastes less Dutch without stroopwafels on the side, I can’t help but think about today: Koningsdag, or Kingsday. Thirteen years in America, and I still can’t fully shake the longing for this glorious day of orange chaos back in the Netherlands.

Ah, politics—a topic that’s as divisive as pineapple on pizza and just as likely to spark a heated debate at the dinner table. It’s a world where ideologies clash, alliances shift, and the unexpected is always lurking around the corner. Whether it’s the Netherlands with its kaleidoscope of political parties or the USA with its two-party tug-of-war, the contrasts are as fascinating as they are baffling. And then there’s Trump, a man who approaches geopolitics like a game of Risk, complete with tariffs, territorial ambitions, and a flair for the dramatic. So, buckle up as we navigate the peculiarities of Dutch democracy, the quirks of American politics, and the ever-entertaining chaos that ties it all together. Oh, and don’t worry—we’ll throw in some humor to keep things light.

After all, what’s politics without a little laughter?

The Netherlands: Where Political Parties Multiply Like Rabbits

The Dutch political system is like a buffet—there’s something for everyone. With over 20 political parties, you can pick and choose your flavor: green, liberal, conservative, or even a party for animal rights. Why so many? It’s all thanks to proportional representation, where even a small percentage of votes can earn a party a seat in parliament. It’s democracy on steroids, and it makes coalition-building a national sport. Imagine trying to agree on pizza toppings with 20 friends—it’s chaos, but it works.

The USA: A Two-Party Tug-of-War

Meanwhile, the USA is stuck in a two-party system, like a potluck where you can only bring mac and cheese or potato salad. The winner-takes-all electoral system forces voters to choose between the lesser of two evils, leaving third parties to languish in obscurity. It’s like being asked to pick between vanilla and chocolate when you’re craving rocky road.

When it comes to transportation, the USA and the Netherlands are as different as night and day, each with its own quirks and let's face it, plenty of charm. Picture this: cycling in the Netherlands is like an art form, with bicycle lanes smoother than a hip café's latte foam. 

Now, flip to the USA, where bikes are often buried under layers of dust in the garage, dwarfed by the vast highways and majestic SUVs. In this post, we'll cheerfully explore the wacky contrasts between these two transit cultures, from America's twisty cul-de-sacs to the efficient, scenic canal paths of the Dutch. So, jump on your imaginary bike or hit the gas, and let’s delve into the curious world of American and Dutch transportation!

Dutch people are known for their directness. An American might say, "That's an interesting approach," when they think your idea is terrible. A Dutch person will say, "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It has the intellectual merit of a concussed goldfish. I worry about the education system that produced you," and then invite you for coffee, 

Dutch people are known for their directness. An American might say, "That's an interesting approach," when they think your idea is terrible. A Dutch person will say, "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It has the intellectual merit of a concussed goldfish. I worry about the education system that produced you," and then invite you for coffee, 

In America, the cashier asked how my day was going, and I started telling them about all about my problematic morning. Their smile became so frozen it could have preserved mammoth DNA for future cloning experiments. I realized they didn't actually want to know—they wanted me to say "hello" and move on with the efficiency of a NASCAR pit crew. In the Netherlands, no one asks unless they're prepared for the unvarnished truth, possibly with graphs, statistical analysis, and a PowerPoint presentation with too many animations.

Introduction

As a person born in the Netherlands who has spent some time observing American humor, I’ve come to realize that what makes one culture burst into laughter might leave another in complete confusion. It’s like telling a joke to your dog—sure, he might tilt his head and wag his tail, but does he get it?

Dutch humor is like Dutch weather: dry, unpredictable, and occasionally downright depressing. American humor, on the other hand, is more like a Broadway show—loud, exaggerated, and very eager to make sure you know when to laugh.

Intro

So, here I am, staring into the abyss of my phone screen, and the abyss stares right back with targeted ads for socks and existential dread. It's a real love-hate relationship, you know? 

Intro

Did you know Amsterdam, with its picturesque canals and crooked buildings, once harbored the world's most powerful trading company? Picture this: a group of ambitious Dutch merchants sail thousands of miles into the unknown to bring back spices that would make your grandma's cooking seem downright bland. Welcome to the age of the Dutch East India Company (VOC), where adventure, trade, and a dash of mischief came together in ways that history books often overlook!

Picture this: two intrepid travelers, filled with excitement, embarking on what they hope will be the ultimate bucket list adventure. Destination: Niagara Falls! But little did we know, what began as a straightforward plan to see one of nature’s most breathtaking wonders would turn into a day of serendipity, a comedy of errors, and—best of all—a little bit of unexpected magic.

We kicked off our journey by driving from Buffalo to Niagara Falls, parking our car on the American side. We were pumped.
But hey, we found ourselves on the Rainbow Bridge, gazing at the falls, surrounded by a crowd of tourists, some grumpy Canadians who thought we’d stolen their maple syrup, and a whole lot of mist. You know what they say about Niagara Falls: it's not the destination, it's the soaking wet journey that counts.

Ah, the days of my pre-car life in Rotterdam. No driver’s license, no car, and not a worry in the world. Just efficient, punctual, and downright delightful public transportation. Let me tell you, the Dutch have mastered the art of making buses and subways a luxurious affair. Imagine, if you will, buses and subways arriving every 11 minutes like clockwork. It was so wonderfully reliable that even my coffee machine at home couldn’t compete!

Ah, the days of my pre-car life in the Netherlands.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from living between two cultures, it’s that Americans really know how to throw a party. And when I say party, I don’t mean your average “let’s have some cake and call it a day” kind of gathering. No, no. I’m talking about all-out, break-the-bank, second-mortgage-worthy celebrations that make Dutch birthdays look like a cozy book club meeting. Never understood why Dutch people sit in a circle when celebrating a Birthday. Oh well.

Weddings: The Ultimate Budget Buster

Before I left the Netherlands to live in the USA, my father gave me one very specific piece of advice: “Never talk about politics in America.”

At the time, I nodded, like a good Dutch son, thinking, Sure, Dad. Sounds like a plan. I'll just talk about the weather and cheese.

Fast forward 13 years, and here I am, living in the U.S., realizing that avoiding politics here is like avoiding mayonnaise on Dutch fries—it’s just not happening.

I tried, though. Oh, how I tried. But life has become so complicated. Politicians don’t seem to be in the business of helping people anymore. Instead, they seem to be playing an elaborate game of Monopoly, where the goal is to make rich people even richer, buy up all the property, and throw the rest of us in jail for accidentally stepping on Boardwalk.

And then there’s social media. Sweet, innocent social media… oh wait, no. That was 2008. Now it’s a place where billionaires play puppet master. Let’s talk about X (formerly Twitter, formerly a decent platform, formerly a place where people used to fact-check stuff). Elon Musk—yes, the man who launched a car into space just to flex—has turned it into a disinformation theme park. He’s even carrying his 4-year-old son on his shoulders like a medieval king using a human shield. Not suspicious at all, right?

Meanwhile, I see a post trending on X saying that “woke” people should be deported. Thousands of likes. Thousands! I read this, blink a few times, and think: Wait, isn’t ‘woke’ just being aware of social injustices? How did we get to the point where caring about people is a deportable offense? Next, they’ll be kicking people out for holding doors open for strangers.

This isn’t just an American issue either. The Netherlands and the rest of Europe are also dealing with this fun little game called “Blame the Immigrants”, a classic move in the populist playbook. Because clearly, it’s the refugees’ fault that Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk each has more money than entire countries. Makes total sense.

Intro

Ah, New York City: the Big Apple, the City That Never Sleeps, the place where pigeons have more attitude than your average reality TV star. But did you know that before New York was "New York," it was a humble Dutch settlement called New Amsterdam? Yes, that’s right! The land of bagels and Broadway was once the land of stroopwafels and... well, more stroopwafels.