Okay, so, the Netherlands. Land of windmills, tulips, and apparently, a massive food exporting empire. Like, number two in the world, no big deal. Which makes absolutely zero sense when I try to find, say, a decent frikandel here in the good ol' USA. Seriously, you'd think with all that food flying out of the Netherlands, a few frikandellen could hitch a ride, right? Wrong.
I've tried, believe me. I've scoured the shelves of every "international" aisle within a 50-mile radius. Nothing. I even started to question my sanity. Did the frikandellen even exist? Was it some elaborate Dutch conspiracy to keep their delicious meaty secrets to themselves?
Then, I discovered the internet. A beacon of hope in my quest for Dutch culinary delights. There are online stores! Hallelujah! Except… the selection is, shall we say, "curated." It's like they're playing a cruel joke on me. "Oh, you want frikandellen? Here's some hagelslag! Close enough, right?" (Hagelslag is chocolate sprinkles, for the uninitiated. Delicious, but not a frikandel.)
And the meat. Oh, the meat. Apparently, there's some kind of international meat embargo on Dutch delicacies. Frikandellen, rookworst, bitterballen… all forbidden. It's like a meaty Romeo and Juliet situation, but with more regulations and less Shakespeare.
So, here I am, scrolling through thedutchstore.com, my best and only hope. They have… stroopwafels! And… licorice! Okay, okay, it's something. Maybe one day, I'll be able to sink my teeth into a real Dutch frikandel. Until then, I'll just be over here, drowning my sorrows in hagelslag and dreaming of a world where Dutch meat products are free to roam the globe. A world where I can finally understand what all the fuss is about. A world where I don't have to explain what a frikandel is to yet another confused American. Is that too much to ask? (Probably.)
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